Do You Make This Mistake When You're Talking To People?

We all have a tendency, if we want to get our point across, we speak at a higher pitch, and speak more quickly, so we get our message out fast.

But if we get nervous or if we're talking to someone important, we have a common trait to speed it up and just get it out there. And that's the exact opposite of what you should do.

If you want to control the conversation - you start by controlling the pace. If you want to come across as someone who actually knows what he's talking about, it makes sense that you're not in a rush.

Remember the "Batman Begins" movie where he had to climb all the way to the top of the mountain, in the ninja monastery?

They don't put the monastery at the bottom of the mountain, they put it at the top, because it takes a while to get there and requires sacrifice. And once you get there - you don't expect a person to just spill it out and bury you in words.

You expect him to be lowkey, slow, and methodical. Someone with actual expertise with value to add to a conversation would usually not feel compelled to fill everything up with words.

Think about a doctor listening to your problem, he is asking you questions, making you talk and then he can make a diagnosis and sort of give you an idea of what you have to do now. He doesn't rush. He assesses the situation and then gives you feedback.

It's very similar to any human-to-human dynamic. You don't want to come across as a needy person, that just needs something from others. Just slow it down, relax, breathe properly, choose your words carefully, don't fill up space with "uh" and "um", take the pace down and you'll come across as an expert.